Find the Right Words When Your Brain Freezes.
You know you need declarative language—but in the moment, you can't think straight. Gentle Ally gives you 5-6 personalized, low-demand phrases instantly.
Just describe the situation. No guessing.
Understanding PDA
What is PDA?
A profile on the autism spectrum where everyday demands can trigger anxiety and avoidance. Declarative language reduces pressure and invites collaboration.
Why declarative language?
It removes commands. Instead, it shares observations, curiosity, and options—supporting autonomy and nervous-system safety.
Who is it for?
Parents, educators, therapists—and adults with PDA who want help communicating their needs to partners, family, or colleagues.
Everything You Need
More than just a translator—Gentle Ally is your complete PDA support toolkit.
5-6 Options in Seconds
Describe any situation. Get personalized, low-demand phrases instantly. No prompting, no guessing.
Meet Ellie — 24/7 Support
A warm, knowledgeable assistant who understands PDA. Ask about meltdowns, regulation strategies, or just vent. Your confidential parenting companion.
Crisis Mode When You Need It
In the middle of a meltdown? Emergency mode gives you instant calming scripts—for you first, then your child. No waiting, no loading.
Build Your Phrase Library
Star any phrase that works. Tag it (Bedtime, Mealtime, Transitions...) and find it instantly next time.
Knows Your Child
Save their interests, triggers, and what calms them. Every suggestion reflects who they are.
Voice Input
Speak your situation while you're co-regulating. No typing needed.
See It In Action
Watch how Gentle Ally transforms everyday struggles into calmer moments.
Our Promise: Connection Over Compliance
Gentle Ally is not a tool to steer kids back to obedience. It is a tool to help you lower demands and build trust.
I believe that when children feel safe, collaboration follows naturally.
Important: Declarative language only works when it protects autonomy. PDA children immediately sense hidden agendas—lead with genuine choice, consent, and co-regulation.
Autonomy-first learning
Declarative language belongs inside a wider accommodations plan—pair it with true choice-making, nervous-system safety, and caregiver self-reflection. These resources unpack what that looks like in daily life:
Low-Demand Parenting
Amanda Diekman's book outlines how to lower demands, rebuild trust, and use declarative phrasing alongside collaborative problem solving.
Explore the bookAt Peace Parents
Coaching, podcasts, and community stories focused on giving PDA kids genuine control over their pace, environments, and responsibilities.
Visit At Peace ParentsKristy Forbes
Courses and social content that explain why PDAers detect hidden agendas and how to center autonomy, co-regulation, and sensory safety.
Learn with KristyFAQ
Who's building Gentle Ally?
I'm EJ, a solo developer with 10 years of professional software experience. I started building Gentle Ally after hearing from a friend about how she was using generic AI tools to create declarative language for her child with PDA. It required so much prompting and re-prompting—adding mental load when she was already exhausted. I realized I could build something specifically designed for PDA families that would make this process instant and effortless. While I'm not a PDA expert myself, I'm working closely with caregivers and educators to ensure Gentle Ally truly serves this community.
Is this medical advice?
No. Gentle Ally offers phrasing ideas and educational content. It does not diagnose or treat conditions. Always consider your context and professional guidance.
Is my data stored?
Your email is stored securely through our email service provider. Once you have access to the full app, you can create profiles and favorites; all data is stored securely and can be deleted by you anytime.
Will it always avoid commands?
Yes—Gentle Ally is specifically designed to generate declarative, non‑demand language with options and curiosity built in.
Can I use declarative language to get compliance?
No. Declarative language is not a covert command—it only works when caregivers release control, share information transparently, and let the child choose the next step. PDA kids spot hidden agendas instantly; pair declarative phrasing with real accommodations, nervous-system safety, and resources like Low-Demand Parenting, At Peace Parents, or Kristy Forbes' work.
How do I start using declarative language with my PDA child?
Start small. Instead of "Put your shoes on," try "I notice it's raining—shoes might keep our feet dry." Share observations, express curiosity, and offer options instead of direct commands. Gentle Ally will help you generate age-appropriate examples for real situations when it launches.
What's the difference between declarative and imperative language?
Imperative language gives direct commands ("Brush your teeth," "Get dressed"). Declarative language shares information and invites collaboration ("I'm noticing it's almost bedtime," "I wonder which toothpaste feels nicest"). Declarative phrasing reduces the perception of demand and supports autonomy, making it especially helpful for PDA profiles.
When will Gentle Ally be available?
Gentle Ally is preparing for public launch! Beta access is now closed with 75+ families testing on iOS. Join the waitlist to be notified as soon as we launch publicly.
Can declarative language help with meltdowns?
While declarative language can't prevent all meltdowns, it significantly reduces demand-related anxiety by removing the pressure of commands. By offering observations and choices instead of instructions, you help lower nervous system activation. Many parents find that consistent use of declarative phrasing leads to fewer escalations over time—though it's one tool among many in a low-demand approach.
Ready to Find the Right Words?
Join the waitlist to be notified when Gentle Ally launches publicly.
Join Waitlist